Part of Boy George’s 12-step programme, no doubt: ‘Create devotional dance group, throw in Hari Krishna references willy-nilly, rope Asha Bhosle in for authenticity- hey presto, you’re clean!  At least for a bit.’fficeffice" />

A ludicrous record, obviously, but so full of mad ideas and uplifting chords that you have to cherish it.  I’d say the Jesus Loves You stuff was the big man’s most consistent work, and the More Protein label produced lots more good things besides.  ‘Bow Down Mister’ is a ‘My Sweet Lord’ for the 90s, and God knows we all needed that, heathens that we were.

Forget raised temperatures, Junior’s hands are raised to the Lord.  The rest of the time she peers around the laptop screen to smile at her dad, who’s grateful for the chance to bunk work.  Sorry, work from home.

More real-time Junior reviews, live and direct, as they happen.  The Young Disciples apparently inspire nothing less than throwing oneself back in the inflatable and kicking the legs over the side.  She’s now sitting up again, yelping, trying to attract attention and find Carleen Anderson.fficeffice" />

Released by the Talkin’ Loud label, I suppose this is meant to be an acid jazz record.  I don’t think it’s sculpted beard-stroking enough to really fit in- more a razor-sharp funk tune than a Galliano ‘jam’ (man).  And, more to the point, it hasn’t dated.

Can’t remember the full story, but I know the band fell out before building on the first album’s success.  Maybe it was just Carleen’s pursuit of solo glory.  She, of course, was struck down by the Weller Curse.  A decent, soulful debut, then an Ocean Colour Scene-assisted second LP.  Oops.

Might do some requests now if anyone’s around to, er, request any.  Be quick- she’ll be clamouring for afternoon tea soon.

The first thing that strikes Junior about the Johnny Cash version is ‘How is Daddy singing that song without moving his mouth?’.  Now, I never thought I sounded like the Man In Black, but according to the small judge we’re dead vocal ringers.  Once over the initial confusion, she just wanted to dance.  The Bob version had her smiling initially, but she was soon distracted by Piglet.  It’s just too sedate.  Should’ve played her the one from the Rolling Thunder Revue but that’s in a box in a slipcase and I couldn’t be bothered.fficeffice" />

As for the respective gentlemen’s attitudes, she’s not impressed.

Junior was down with the king, y’all.  The scratching was well-received- she hasn’t heard much of that yet, but was fondly reminded of the rough sofa cover she enjoys dragging her nails across.  She was dissing the sucker emcees and everything.fficeffice" />

Funny bunch of chaps, Run DMC.  They patented the whole laceless Adidas thing but they always looked sort of crap.  Those fly shoes just didn’t work with the shiny leathers and bad hats, I reckon.  I bet Jeremy Clarkson wore that outfit when he presented Top Of The Pops the other week.

Nah, the dance isn’t instinctive.fficeffice" />

Since the twin evils of Coolio* and Puff Daddy showed the hip hop world that you could have a hit by mumbling a couple of words over someone else’s entire song, this kind of record has become a thing of the past.  Yeah, this mix is built around ‘Walk On The Wild Side’, but only a loop, and tons of other stuff has been chucked in.  The Boilerhouse boys sound like they were having a cracking time, wall to wall ideas.fficeffice" />

Made the mistake of lifting Junior over to the stereo for a dance, only for her to stare mesmerised at the spinning turntable.  She was even further bowled over by my cack-handed scratching.

‘Can I Kick It?’’s a throwaway, sure.  A Tribe Called Quest made other records that appeal more to the purist- even in 1991- and they’re all great, but this was their pop moment.  Or was that ‘Bonita Applebum’?  Maybe we’ll do 1990 next.

*I’m baffled by the praise heaped on ‘Gangsta’s ffice:smarttags" />Paradise’.  A boring rapper, barely ruffling a hair on ‘Pastime Paradise’’s head.

I was 18/19 in 1991, and we were hip young gunslingers still going clubbing, DJing, buying all the platters that matter and walking the walk.  It was the fag-end of indie dance, that blew out with the dazzling fireworks of ‘Screamadelica’, as its leading lights embraced clubland completely or discovered that they’d ‘always had a grunge element’ to their music.  ‘Fallen’ was a comedown anthem, beautiful, lush and warmly groovy.fficeffice" />

One Dove were ploughing a Scots furrow of Balearic house, reflective yet sunny.  The pop sensibilities of Altered Images came together with studio boffinry and Dot Allison’s breathy vocals to create a record perfect for Ibizan terrace dawns.  Premiered, however, in ffice:smarttags" />Rimini, it was immediately brought to Andrew Weatherall’s attention and he pledged to help them make the natural successor to Primal Scream’s touchstone. 

Shame, then, that it took them TWO YEARS to put ‘Morning Dove White’ together.  One Dove missed that bus.

Two years, even 15 years down the line the song doesn’t date.  Dot cries out, and we still want to forgive and to save her.  Junior peers over the side of the high chair to see how far the singer has fallen, ready to lend a chubby, helping hand.  For the rest of the record, she’s happy to eat her breakfast and wallow in the plush sounds.  Now she wants to know what all this ‘Screamadelica’ stuff is all about.